Ram & Ravan

I am Ram and I am Ravan too
I am good and I am Evil too
I am the two sides of the same coin
I am like this because I am who I am

I am here and I am there
I am now and I was then
I am love and I am hate
I am right and I am wrong

Have forgotten when I was just one
Ever since I have grown up I am both
I want to rediscover myself
But everytime I end up meeting my present self.

Every good deed done makes me meet my Ram
Every act of anger and jealousy is my Ravan
They say kill your Ravan
But how can I? Ram and Ravan are joined always.

Being Ram would not be that exciting!
Nor would be being just Ravan!
It would be life in just one color or no color
Ram and Ravan together are the reality of today

They are together like the Yin and Yang of life
The positive and the negative of life
They are the dark cloud and the silver lining
They are together. They are life!

How can I kill one and let the other live!
I am not God!
I pray this Dusshera Good Balances Evil..
and make our lives worth every moment!

Happy New Year

Last few days I have been bed-ridden with fever. This has given a lot of time to contemplate and think of various paradigms we all believe in. Biggest of them all is the New Year.

As a kid, I remember asking my grand-father, what would change in the New Year. A man of words and wisdom he tried to explain that in the physical theory of earth’s revolution around the sun. At that moment it somehow quenched my inquisitiveness, but every 31st December, I used to ask this question to myself.

As I grew up, meaning of New Year kept on changing. Whilst in primary and middle school, it meant moving up to a new class. As I grew up, and reached my board exam classes of 10th, and 12th standards, it meant pre-board exams and the ever so life-changing board exams. During engineering and post graduation years it meant University exams and then finally farewell to enter into the big bad world of corporate life and more responsibility. From then on New Years meant an additional holiday. And if by chance, it ended up on a Sunday, then all one could do was to smile wryly and say “Damn!”

So this year as I spend my last few days and hours of the year 2008, in bed, I came back to the question….what would change with New Year 2009…and is it such a big thing?

New Years are meant to be celebrated with wining and dining, with ambitious resolutions thrown in. Some of my colleagues have already started circulating their resolutions over office mail! Now what use would that be of? :-) But what is it so much about New Year that we start sounding resolutions and spend heftily for celebrations.

I asked my doctor yesterday, and she equally perturbed by the question, thought that New Year meant that one grew another year older. I feel that shows the classical glass half full-half empty state of mind. Then came in my sister and brother-in-law, who thought New Year meant more holidays, more fun, and another trip to the mountains. For others in the family, it was just another day. Not finding much answers, I asked myself again....what does the New Year mean to me.

As for me, I am superstitious about New Years day. I purchase a Yearly horoscope book every year on this day. I then spend most part of the 2nd of January reading through it. I don’t go to a chemist or a doctor, as that would mean a bad omen for the entire year. And finally I definitely work on 1st of January as it signifies a good start, which in another sense also means job half done :-)

But the question still looms large. On 1st January will it be a different morning? Will the sun rise from the west or will it be another day of night? For starters as for me there are no resolutions, as one can resolve at any time. But what would 1st January mean that it would fill us with so much joy and happiness, and then wane it down, that next year this time I will again ask this question?

As we know it, it won’t be a different day. It would be just another day. But as I am a die-hard romantic, it will be a fresh start to tackling old demons who troubled us in 2008. It’s a hope that all we set forth to in 2009, will succeed and the sweet taste of success would not cause any diabetes. On a personal front, here is hoping that we will finally move away from ill health to a more fitter self. It would bring in more love and happiness for one and all (said it in a beauty pageant contestants way :-)…..

Ever Thine….
Ever Mine…..
Ever Ours….
Lots of Love…..Happy New Year!!

Being Married - 6 Months Later

Sometimes, I am a child….
Sometimes… a matured man,
Sometimes… I just want to hide myself or get lost in the wilderness of my dreams,
Sometimes…. I just want to be Me.

I welcome you to my journey through the 6 months of my transformation from being Me to My Wife’s Husband.

1.Earlier I never set foot in the kitchen. Now, I can wash, cut and cook vegetables (see I have even learnt to wash them before eating)

2.I go to the market, look at really snazzy gadgets, and then think - Do I really need this? Where will I keep it in the room? Have I disposed off the earlier ones? I had never ever earlier thought this way. May be, the world is suffering because of me…because I got married. As it is the global melt-down is all sentiment led. No one is buying anything. That was not me 6 months back. I took pride in being the impulsive buyer and hoarding various versions and makes of the same gadget in my room.

3.Now days, I don’t get easily surprised. Most of the stuff seems like Been there…Done that. Everything is just about obvious until she says Guess What….and I squirm Now What? Such is life, but those who are married would understand.

4.We go to museums and watch craft mela’s. Never had this happened in the 30 years of my abode on earth. I was genetically superior, and those of my being are aesthetically challenged. We take pride and show immense appreciation for straight lines rather than intellectual brilliance of someone who had spilt color on a canvas.

5.I used to think florists are meant to sell single roses, only to be used whenever……you know :)….until I met her. Now I have a florist who exists on my chat, and sends a bouquet of exotic flowers at my insistence. Whatever happened to single roses….I don’t know. Do they still sell single roses?

These are some of the instances of my transformation. Another major one is about Me+. Earlier Me was treated as singular. Now it is Us. Singular has now turned plural. It is like Me describes the views of Us. Why don’t people realize the concept of opposition parties?

Having said all this I want to add a caveat. I know, as soon as, I have started this part of the write up, there will be a wry smile on the faces of some of my friends thinking……He is chickening out! Well, to be honest, I am not.

Marriage is all the above and more. I am more complete now. Since marriage, I have grown as a person. Being single has its own charms, but our real growth happens when we start sharing our lives with others. Letting someone into our space, is like giving away a lot. But consider this, by letting someone into our space, we have increased our space. I never understood this concept earlier……now I do!

There is natural to be friction. All of us tend to resist change and dislike adapting. The real test of marriage and the sure shot outcome is that we realize the change….and thus the better solution. A key point here is that life happens when you participate in it.

Having said all this, one would appreciate the importance of Being Married. As they say….you have to be married, since the government cannot be blamed for everything. But as I move ahead, a quote from the movie Jerry Maguire comes to mind…….

I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success!

Being Married!

I have never believed in gory flashback sequences. So, to cut the chase, you all need to know that I got married nearly 3 months back!

Life has changed since marriage and however many "Just Married" movies one may watch, it truly is a unique experience. Our courtship was 2 month "long" in which we met only 3 times for not more than 3 hours each. Though we didn't get much time together, we really increased our mobile phone bills with all the Good Mornings, Good Nights, and other "Sweet Nothings" during the day. And for the uninitiated who don't know what people talk about for hours on end in such calls, my answer is "Nothing"! Yes, thats why these are called "Sweet Nothings".

Well, the day we got married, as I was waiting for her on the stage, one of my friends walked up to me and said,"Dude, you still have time.....run!" I didn't reply but just smirked. I was so ready for marriage. Then slowly, she emerged from the room, dressed in red and looking stunning, slowly stepping down the stairs to walk towards me, I really got the chills and realized, "I was getting married!" I turned to this friend in a sudden, and asked, "Do you have a hidden tunnel under the carpet somewhere?" He smiled, a knowing smile, as if he knew it was going to happen and just patted my shoulder as slowly i stooped my head and accepted the garland from her. As I later came to know, she was as scared.

Later, being the nice and charming self that is me, I even offered her to use my shoe rack and my almirah for sometime, till the time her almirah was ready. I soon realized that life was about small happinesses. I celebrate the days when my shoes find their way back on the shoe rack :-)

In the last two months, we have had a good time together. Giving wierd logics for driving home our points. But one has to mention here that none of my logics makes sense once she puts her foot down. So much so for logical reasoning.

But after having cribbed much, it needs to be pointed that I really like my life with her. This is for the seriousness and meaning she has brought back into life. May be cribbing is a part of how much I appreciate the banter we share :-) In a moment of reckoning, I had surmised them in a few brief lines....

I like life.
Its twists and turns.
Its strange and innocous ways
Yet with its good surprises
I like life.

I like it when someone walks in
And makes me want to talk more and more
Share all that has happened in the last so many years
I like it when someone brings a smile Just by their thought
And how perfect it feels to miss them

I like it when that someone goes speechless
On hearing something stupidly romantic
I like it when the reply comes....I don't know what to say :)
And I say..
..say no more

I like it when I find no more words
But want to write so much more
Life's just started for us and there is a long way to go
And am sure its gonna be good, 'cause....
I like life...with you.

Something to Talk About

I had stopped writing mush stories sometime back and had gone for deeper topics. But I couldn’t resist the temptation for long. Many of my friends also told me to get back to stories. So yesterday while climbing down the stairs, on my way back home, I got this story idea. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did penning it down.

They were standing in front of the tall building that housed their office. Their office was located on the 11th floor of the building. And that day the lift had broken down. So the only way out was to walk up the 11 floors. Pheww....that was a hell lot! Most wouldn't be able to do it. But even of those who would, will be panting like crazy.

They walked towards the stairs and he looked up at the seemingly never ending spiral of stairs. "I look up and feel this is not possible. Then I look at you, and everything seems possible," he said smiling at her.

She blushed. And then quickly regaining her stoic composure looked back at him and said, “Hmmm......you know they say it is better to keep quite while going up stairs. So, shut up!” And then she walked ahead of him and smiled to herself.

He was an act in himself. Slowly he placed a finger on his lips and started to walk behind her. Not saying a word, he just kept his eye on her, knowing fully well that she was smiling to herself too.

After two flights of stairs, she asked without looking back, "How long would we take to reach the office?" He smiled to himself but didn’t reply. His finger was firm on his lips.

She looked back and laughed, "You are such a drama act. Ok, you can speak. But only what is necessary. Got it?"

He nodded his head and removed his finger and said, "We will take as long as we want to." And then he smiled. She knew he was smart and may be that’s why she liked him too. But he hadn't asked her yet. May be he thought they were just friends. But if they were friends, why did he flirt with her so much? She was now confused and slowly walked up.

Sensing a prolonged silence, he asked, "Why are you angry with me?" As if waiting for a chance to speak, she pounced back, "I have all the right to be angry with you. You didn't tell me he was leaving?” She was referring to another colleague who was leaving the company.

"Well, he is like my kid brother, I have to protect him. I thought would tell you everything in time", he answered.

She stopped in her steps. This was enough. She stomped down to where he was, two stairs behind her, and looked deep in his eyes. She was angry. "That’s a bad answer Sir!! If he is your kid, then who am I to you?" she asked.

He was suddenly taken aback. And she too realized what she had said. May be he hadn't got it, you know the way guys are. No, she thought, he would have understood it, he was smart. Damn!!

He raised his face to hers and smiled. In a very soft voice, he said, "I know what you are to me; it’s for you to decide."

As if through the veil of anger a smile escaped her lips. She blushed. He knew, she thought, how to make her go weak in the knees.

"Feeling very romantic, aren't you today? I think its better you shut up and walk quietly. No more talking for you." she said.

And then she started to walk back again. She was happy at herself and what she had heard. May be the tide was turning, but she shouldn't give in easy. So, she thought, its better not to talk till we reach the 11^th floor.

He kept on walking up behind her, but fell back a few paces. His finger was on his lips as he looked at her intently. Suddenly, through the corner of his eye, he saw that the lift was working. She had not seen it. They were on the 6th floor and had 5 more floors to go. He softly slipped through the door without letting her know and entered the lift to go to the 11th floor.

Meanwhile, she was in a world of her own, walking up. A few times she thought of talking to him but didn't. Unaware of him having slipped away she kept on climbing the stairs.

Finally, when she saw the 11th floor marker, she stopped and looked behind. He was not there. She quickly scanned downstairs, not to find him. He had given her a slip again. Suddenly the lift chimed and a few people got in. So he had seen the lift, and didn't tell her. She was now so angry with him. She turned towards her floor, still a few stairs up.

And there he was standing with his hand extended. He did not speak but mouthed an apology in silence. "Am sorry," he said, "I wanted to surprise you, but now realize how difficult it was for you."

She was too tired to fight. She did not take his hand and silently climbed the last few stairs. May be, she thought, I would teach him a lesson tomorrow. He had this habit of making her angry.

As she moved ahead of him on their floor, he suddenly pulled her back. She was taken aback. Surprised! What was he doing? She started to say something, but he held his finger on her lips.

"I have not told you something else too. I like you. You rock my world, like no one has ever done. No one can come close to be in the vicinity of being near to sharing the same space as your thought in my heart."

Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She was happy. He looked at her and smiled, suddenly realizing what had happened. As if caught, he smiled and rubbed his head in nervousness.

She ran her fingers through his hair and said, "Thank God, you said it. I would have died waiting."

He countered her. And then she countered back. This continued for sometime. They were looking so cute together, I thought. I tucked my bow and arrow in, and flapped my wings in happiness and flew away.

After all Cupid never misses although sometimes I have to break down lifts to make stories happen :-)

Being Stupid

Do we get stupid with age? Or is stupidity a natural and ever present phenomenon which occurs in all of us in varied proportions? Sometimes questions like this make me wonder, is being stupid good, bad or generally stupid? That’s actually a lot many questions to start a discussion on stupidity!

Before I take you forward on this stupefying journey, let us understand what exactly is stupidity or what actions can be termed stupid. As per some definitions stupidity is lack of intelligence or an act committed by someone lacking in intelligence. Being stupid is in itself both a categorization and a state of mind. But that’s not what I call as stupid. Being stupid is a sense of bliss where what you commit or be is simply unexplainable and a logical reasoning would spoil the party.

Sometimes, it so happens, we see someone special and go weak in the knees. A feeling of warmth spreads over and the mind takes a flight of dreams. The love which slowly starts budding always makes one wonder what would it be like to get a little more stupid with her once. You can’t explain such situations with logic as it would take away the fun of it and might invite flack from certain sections of the society.

It is often said that people stop seeing reason in love. Everything seems rosy and it’s autumn throughout the year. Even illogical ideas and ways make sense. There is a happy bliss look on their faces and even the boss screaming at them seems beautiful. These people may sound stupid but they aren’t. They are actually happy and very much in love.

Behaviour which most consider akin to stupidity is most commonly found in the professional sphere. People end up taking targets which are way beyond their teeth for various reasons. They might have been caught unawares in a honey trap (like a CEO calling the sales team for drinks, lauding their efforts, and then taking a public commitment of raised targets) or there is (not in much cases) a self need for doing something which no one has done before. These actions are most often termed stupid in hindsight but if the targets are achieved they become part of the folklore and more people get trapped.

Sometimes whilst involved in serious situations people end up committing acts which in all aspects are illogical and stupid. Once a lawyer, in the thick of argument asked a witness whether the stair-case which went down also came up. The unassuming witness was taken aback and so were all rest present in the court. In another instance an IT support person told me that the office LAN was now up and the network would reach me in 2 hrs. Dumb-founded I said ok and tried looking for another source of help.

Another such situation is while driving when people commit hara-kiri. They drive as if the road was their own and everyone else was trying to beat them. Especially young kids who feel their bikes as an extension of their body and do acts which to some may some amazing acrobatics but to all else as acts of stupidity.

There are people who even on small knick to their vehicles stop the entire traffic just to pick up a fight with others and if the other one is not so well built, to hit them too. One of my friends shouts profound obscenities at anyone who over-takes him while another shoos people away by saying she would tell her daddy. All these acts of stupidity were committed in tough professional situations.

A very important instance when people are said to commit stupidity is shopping. Especially women, when they reach a market or a mall, go berserk. I have seen women run amok when exposed to a big shopping complex. They buy things which might not even be required; for example shoes. Women love shoes like crazy. It seems to me all of them are actually in an unannounced race to own the maximum number of pairs. This is stupid but when you ask a woman and she would ridicule it and call you stupid instead.

Stupidity does not grow with age. It is a mental state in a particular scenario or situation. As in the above examples I have tried to explain, stupidity is not even related to a particular sex. It is omni-present.

There is nothing wrong with stupidity. It is completely normal to be stupid about something or somebody. Major problem is when you are perfect or project yourself to be one. Now that is what I call extremely stupid.

Stupidity comes to us naturally. All of us are stupid in our own little ways. For those whose stupidity is not digestible by a larger set of people are sometimes termed as eccentrics.

I have used the word stupid 29 times in this essay (now 30 times). People might call me stupid, in-fact I may be one. But the fact of the matter is, you read this stupidity. And by now even if don’t update the count of stupid here, you would mentally count it as 34.

Be Stupid……Love Life!!

PS – That’s 35 times J

Random Thoughts

There is something about happiness
It makes me fearful when its with me
Losing it always only to find later.

All stories strive for happiness.
All stories with a happy ending are incomplete stories.
All stories with a sad ending were once happy stories.

Some come close but fall short.
Others fall too short.
Only very few get there.

But as is the transience of time
None of them end up happy
They are more often sad imitations of happiness there once was.

I often wonder if happiness is real
Or is it a state when sadness ain't there?
Or just another mystic illusion?

Happiness is a difficult virtue to hold on to.
A slippery feeling of contentment
Slipping out as easily as it slipped in

The more firm your grip is
The easier is it for to slip out
Leaving you wondering what happened

Key is to cherish every moment
To spread it around
For it is infectious, and comes back when you are feeling low

So what if all stories with a happy ending are incomplete
They are the beginning of more happy incomplete stories
Happiness is not a destination, but a journey

Enjoy the journey more than the destination
This pursuit I know is a reality
'cause destination was never my destiny