Office Spouse'

For an outsider looking at the corporate culture is just like looking at the earth from outer space; everything is serene and there seems to be no reason to suspect otherwise. But as you start zooming in more and more, you get to see people, and their lives.

Professionals, as most of us are, should strictly mean business when it comes to the work environment. Though our basic human nature and the social system we are brought up in ensures that apart from the profession, there are further interactions in the work space. Most of us end up spending close to 10-12 hours or more at work, which means that the effective time to relax the mind is reduced. So some amount of relaxation has to be found within the office space. This interaction is in terms of networking which includes gossiping, chatting etc. As I had discussed in one of my earlier essays, this social interaction in the office, is useful in replenishing the positive energy within us. So, these interactions and friendships in the office space make the job more interesting and comparatively less taxing.

These office friendships become a mutual support mechanism and discuss anything ranging from work to movies to sports, food etc. So when, among these office friendships, comes across an interesting person with whom it feels nice to be with, with whom flirtation is a given, yet the sub layer under currents are attractive, the end result is a bond which is very much a personal life within the professional life. This phenomenon is what I call as office spouses.

Running back to my oldest resource, the Wikipedia, I found some good understanding on the subject. And I club it here with my thoughts and try to bring some sense to the subject.

An office spouse is a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness.

The office spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to understand the nuances of the workplace.

Office spouses are the embodiment of the merging of our personal and professional lives. It is an essentially a platonic relationship which is different from friendship, but has in it what it takes to blossom further. This relationship may or may not result in an extension to the personal life. They might just be present in the office space, or in other scenarios grow into something more special. Not commenting on their chances for the same, I do feel it is one interesting proposition to explore.

So now the question arises, is it a modern phenomenon, or has it been present in earlier times too? Well, I feel the phenomena is not new, but a recognition of its ever increasing presence has been accorded in the recent times with the blurring of the office working hours. Office spouses are the answer to the sense of claustrophobia which sets in due to long working hours. A study in the US mentioned that such relationships may not only make one happier with the job, but also increases the chances of promotions and raises. In 2006, a similar study in the US showed that 32% of respondents in the corporate world had office husbands and office wives. Although no such data is available for India, I do feel the figures might not be that much different.

Some people try to tie down office spouses phenomena as a joke. They make fun of such office couples when they see. Not to blame them for their shortsightedness, I think it is completely a matter of personal choice and liking. One might vehemently deny its sheer existence, but once faced they see light.

Through this essay I am stating a social phenomenon, and in no way propagating them. But, wait a minute, on hindsight, even if I am propagating office spouse’s phenomena, so what? I am writing about it because I see it and see no wrong with it. As mentioned earlier, the sheer support one feels in presence of their office spouses, makes working worthwhile and enjoyable.

I knew two colleagues and realized they shared a special bond. They had respect for
each others likes and dislikes and always used to enjoy their company. They never romantically committed but missed the other one when he/she was on leave or away. They helped each other in their office tasks and ensured the work did not suffer. I never asked them about this relationship, lest I become just like others who winked and smiled when they saw them together, happy in each others company. This was my first brush with the phenomenon of office spouses.

Cinema has off late started to talk about such relationships but being the medium it is and the audience it caters to, most such depictions are frivolous and lack sound understanding. Most of these relationships are often confused as extra-marital. But in fact they are not. There is a very thin line of difference between office spouses and extra-marital relationships. As I said earlier office spouses essentially share a platonic relationship which might or might not grow. So clubbing both these phenomena is wrong.

Having read all this, you must wonder, should you look for office spouse’ or that you haven’t ever felt such connect with anybody, is there something wrong with you? Well, nothing is wrong with you. It is just like love, it might just happen when you least expect it. So don’t mess up with your friends after reading this, and wait for the right moment :-)