I am Alive!!

There are a few things which money cannot buy, but for other things there is some credit card. I have borrowed this phrase from a popular advertisement because it really is true. And if you think I am going to bore you with the reasons why this is so true and good, then forget it. Didn’t have a starting line (or something I love to call my pick up line) so thought why not use this.
Now coming straight to the point!! I have a confession to make. I love to bitch about others. Don’t know for how long I have been at it, but it seems like ages. Like for example in school when a guy brought a brand new snazzy school bag, I was literally in tears, bitching how lowly this guy was acting whilst showing off his bag. Agreed, that a bag is such a small thing. But please see I am writing of an age when I too was small.
But whatever be it, I was bitching. You might call it as an outcome of jealousy but you can never deny it. Jealousy or whatever, we spend close to 10 to 100% of our daily routines bitching about something or someone. Be it boss’s new shirt or the neighbor’s new car. We are doing it without even realizing. Is gossiping or bitching the best form of rest and recreation during our oh…so hectic lives that we have to also harp about the need for work-life balance at the end of the day?
Before I dwell further into the topic, let us first understand the cause of doing what we do (...okay I didn’t want to write it again, but here we go...bitching). I feel jealousy at various levels more or less sums up the evolution of this urge. It is the feeling of under-achievement whenever someone achieves something. Achievement, here is more than just material. It may be something we couldn’t care much about, but still somewhere the green in our psyche shines.
I have heard stories of great men and women who were happy for other’s success that they sometimes gave it away themselves. Well, I am not a great man; I am just an ordinary person you pass by every day. And ditto is true with you, because we definitely do pass by each other sometime. So, that being settled that we are ordinary people, we can also agree on the fact that we all do feel jealous. You know it, I know it.
I asked a few people what set them off and triggered this urge. I got a plethora of varied replies. In professional and competitive scenario, this urge is sparked off if someone gets a better project or profile (which I couldn’t care much about), an award or recognition (even for a cause I could not do in ages), a better seat (even if it meant the poor guy would not be able to check personal mails and chat with friends on phone), and so on, but the crux is that he did get something, and I didn’t.
In personal interactions, there are a lot more colors which mix and make us go green. This friend of mine had gone to party with his date. As per him, she was looking good that day (as per me she always looks good, may be he was wearing his glasses that day!). As soon as they entered the party, there came another stunning friend of hers, and our man was left gaping for fresh air. This stunner came and pecked his date on both cheeks as he looked on longingly and starving. As she left, his date remarked, “Did you look at her? She was wearing such a cheap perfume. Must be her dad’s or brother’s after shave.” He just looked on perplexed.
Is this just jealousy or is it more? Is it not jealousy mixed with some bit of insecurity? I believe, it is not just some little sense of insecurity, but really a lot of insecurity!! But why? May be my friends date must have felt insecure, even though she knew deep in her heart that she had my friend for as long as she knew how to flutter her eyes.
I have seen colleagues at work acting bitchy about others in front of bosses. They just need to show others down. Okay, let me not say they, cause somewhere I also do that. And we all just cannot deny being insecure here. We have to do it, so as to somewhere massage our own ego’s.
Have you ever thought who feels more jealous and more urge for bitching, is it men or women? Though more associated with women, jealousy, gossiping, and bitching is as much man thing. We all love to do it. It’s as if it is the spice of our mundane lives. It makes us feel more alive and more up to the minute. It makes us feel more human and less scratched reflections of our idols. Whenever someone tells me not to be jealous and take things in my stride, I just tell them, “I am Alive!!” Are you Alive?