God Save Me

I am sitting here in a very dark room, looking all somber and sincere. There is just one light source which suddenly illuminates my face. And I look up to you.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Don’t know how to say it. But what should I do, this needs to be told.”
I grimace. And look at you with melancholy eyes.
What the heck, I still will say it, because this was the best way I found to start my next write-up on me and myself.
Well, I would imagine the lights go up, and there is a clatter of claps and whistles all around the room. Even if there aren’t any, I don’t care, ‘cause I am telling something which all of us feel and find it difficult and unexplainable.
Last time I wrote, I told you how the women I wanted to meet were all booked or married and the ones left for me were high on EQ and low on IQ.
As I moved on, in my search of finding someone who completes the puzzle, that’s me, I have now realized one very important cardinal truth. Women have these two basic traits given by nature to protect themselves from overtures of men like me.
Firstly, they have good intuition. And by good I mean very good, as in extra-ordinary. Whatever we men are dying to say, she has already understood. So, here I should assume that the problem is solved. She knows what I want to say, so every thing is fine and we can let the fat lady sing.
No, my friend!
There is still a second trait which most women exhibit. They show they are dumb. That they don’t understand a thing and are confused. That explains why most women on being proposed say, “I always treated you as a friend. Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I am so saddened by this. Its better we don’t meet.”
Boom!!
Didn’t I hit a chord? ‘cause that’s what I have heard so many times during my stay on earth.
Not just while being proposed, women generally portray the idea of being happy in small things of life. As this friend of mine who told me, “I got my nose pierced and my fiancé held my hand all throughout. Don’t you think its beautiful?”
You bet.....it ain’t!!
Even getting your nose pierced while holding hands with your guy.....how can it be beautiful. I can’t imagine how that guy could stand this. I would have fainted as soon as the needle would have been brought anywhere near her.
Well, moving on. Women have this unique way of making you feel special. They would even make waiting for you sound so special, as in “take your time….I am here.” And once the wait is over the tantrums would follow. “You don’t know how to manage time. I don’t know how would you do in future.” Strange....but true.
The other day, this friend of mine told me, “You are the only guy, whose my such a close friend.” Wow….so sweet. But I have basically lost out on women, that I shot back, “Hey does your fiancé have some problem?”
The outcome was natural. Needless to say my foot got stamped by her 4 inch heel.
You must have realized by now, how confused I am about women and their strange ways. But somehow when I see her, I go weak in my knees. Hey.....don’t imagine this to be mushy.
Whenever I see some good woman, I end up hitting my knee on some wall, chair or table.
I still am looking for a missing part of my life puzzle who completes me. There have been some who have come close to being in the vicinity of being near to perfect. But sadly.....none have been ideal.
We always look for someone who completes us. And in that search I move on. And on my way I meet women who can be intelligent and dim-witted at the same time.
I heard a British once say, “God Save the Queen.”
Hey, why save the Queen?
Save me. ‘Cause the Queen can fend for herself.