Ramblings of A Confused Mind

He lay there battered and bruised under scorching sun. Unable to move he was in terrible pain. He could not even raise his hands. Sweat mixed with blood from his wounds trickled all over him. He could not think of anything. Only what seemed to be comprehensible was the severe pain he felt all over. Apart from the pain, which he now felt a part of himself; he was at complete peace with himself and his surroundings.
And suddenly his world began to tremble. His whole body was shaking now. His mind trying to re-collect and re-examine his current state. Where was he and what was this trembling and shaking all about?
As if someone heard his mind’s plea, there was a loud whistle. Was there a train approaching? What was a train doing here? Where was he? And then he saw a green light. It…it was a signal for an approaching train. Oh God, he was on a train track. This realization brought back the pain he had till now found a part of his existence. He could barely open his eyes. They were swollen. Using immense will power he opened his eyes. He saw a train turn towards where he way lying. It seemed to be a super fast.
He tried to shout, but he could not. He did not have the energy. Tried raising his hands, but they wouldn’t leave the ground. The hot train tracks burning into him. His legs were not responding. He felt immense pain and remorse at himself.
He wanted to react to the situation. But what would that yield? The pain again seemed to go into the background. His mind became clear. He had a choice to make. Either he would try to get off the track and save himself or he would let the train run him over and finish all misery once and for all. He had to decide this, and that too fast as the train had turned the corner and was coming nearer and nearer. The whistles of the engine getting louder.
He closed his eyes trying to think. Suddenly, as if in a slide show, the pictures of his life came dancing in front of him. He saw his childhood. His parents. Remembered their aspirations. He saw his school. His friends. His first date and the movies. He saw the wrong decisions he made, and why he was where he was right now. And as soon as he thought that, the pain became excruciating. He opened his eyes and saw the train even closer. The whistle louder and piercing.
But there was no way to get out of the current mess. Part of him wanted to end it all. Finish it off, once and for all. People would cry for a few days and then they would lead their lives. With the amount of pain he was in, the crushing of his bones by the incoming train would not even feel much. Or may be he would suffer an arrest from the shock. He was realizing what death was like. He was seeing the difference between life and death. And as far as he thought of his current self, there wasn’t much of a difference.
He weighed his options. He could not move his body an inch. Would someone come crashing down like an angel and take him off the track or would the train stop. But these things only happened in movies. Not in real life. He was destined to die here.
But somewhere inside him, someone wanted to live and show the world what he was made up of. He was a born fighter. A person who came back from the ruins like a Phoenix. He would fight and get over his despair. He wanted to live.
The voices of within were getting as loud as the whistle of the approaching train. But now he had an answer. He wanted to live. He wanted to fight. He tried to move his legs but could not. Using all his power, he was trying to trudge his way out. His body was not co-operating, but he tried on. The train was now even closer. Using his elbows he tried to trudge, but could not. And the anguish became so much that he resigned to die here on the track. He closed his eyes, remembered his parents and God. And with Elvis’s song on his lips, he closed his eyes.
“Good bye mama, pray for me………. I was the black sheep of the family……….a hundred miles ………miles…….from home.”
The tracks were shaking because of the incoming super fast. He was waiting for the pain to end. But why was it taking so long? Why does this moment of truth have to be in slow motion? And then there was a shrieking sound. This must be it, he thought. But still the pain persisted. He tried hard to open his eyes. The train was passing in front of him. He was on the other track.
Tears rolled down his eyes. He tried to smile. The pain was easing out. He shouted in ecstasy. Miracles do happen. He had been given this new lease of life. Now nothing could happen. He lay there feeling himself getting better. The tracks were still trembling but he paid no heed to it. What a relief, he was alive. He would go back and create a new world. He lay there getting his strength back.
And then came a loud shrieking noise. He felt a big thud. And after that nothing. The signal of his track was green.